Sunday, June 11, 2017

Transitions, Limbo, and The Now


This is all I am taking for almost 6 six weeks

   I came down from the Colorado Mountains over two weeks ago.  I was able to visit one of my dearest friends, Jude  (who just moved to Albuquerque), before I returned to McKinney.  Back in Texas,  I have been staying with my Dad, getting ready for my trip, teaching my four highschool seniors, and seeing friends.  It has been a roller coaster of emotions the last couple of weeks, and I have had to think about these varied emotions and what they all mean.
     I now feel at home in nature and in my little camper I now call my home.  It was wonderful to be so closely connected with the Universe (nature, energy, and spirit), and I now know that has to be a very important part of the rest of my life.  I will not neglect that side of me again.  When one is alone and on their own schedule, it is not necessarily easy to get deeply spiritual, but it is certainly more easily available to us if we desire.
     As I got closer to cities, people, and to structured life, I became more and more uncomfortable in my skin.  How is this possible considering I have lived in a city most of my life?  Somewhere, "out there" in nature,  I touched something in my core that has always been there.  I've known it was there since I was a young girl.  The question is, however, how do you touch that core anywhere in any situation.  One should not have to be a monk in the wilderness to have peace and a spiritual life.
     For me, I think it takes extra work to have this peace in a busy world,  and I don't think I have realized how to even attempt it.  The amount of busyness, distractions, traffic, and lists of to-do's, can make your head spin on a good day.  Add all the expectations we feel we should meet as well as all the interactions with dozens of people, if not more, each day, and we probably feel lucky we are as nice as we are when we get out of bed each morning.  Being nice, however, is different than having peace.
     I am going to get on a plane tomorrow morning for an incredible start to the next stage of my journey.  I am going to Bali, Indonesia, and I don't arrive until 11 AM Wednesday morning Bali time.  I am attending a World Drumming program for a month, and then I will stay an extra 10 days to hopefully find some volunteer service  opportunities.  I will be on a crowded plane and in airports for about 30 plus hours and then have to deal with airport customs, possible baggage claim problems, drivers, and a lot of people.  Granted, I am looking at the end of the travel and know that the destination is incredible.  But what I am thinking about right now is, how can I make this transition travel time as important as the destination.  I had a friend tell me the other day, "stay present while you are in this transition or you might miss something."  In our culture, it is all about the destination, not about the journey.  I forget that transition, and even limbo, are part of the journey.  We are so quick to wish we could be somewhere else or wish we could have the good memories all over again, that we "miss" a huge part of our lives.  So, with that said, in the morning, I am going to wake a bit earlier and have a little quiet time, I am going to make the most of the time I have with my Dad, and  I am going to be as open and honest as I can be to those I meet at the airport.   I am going to enjoy sipping my coffee, read my book, observe people, say little prayers of gratitude, listen to the sounds and smile at the stressed out travelers and workers and hope that that brings a bit of cheer to their day.  I may even meditate throughout my trip to calm myself.  It is my goal, anyway, because if I can't be at home in my mind and heart, then it really doesn't matter where I am...there will be no peace.  This is new for me, and it is a huge challenge.  It is not just being "nice" that I am after...it is the goal of being at peace in a non-peaceful situation.  I think this is becoming more and more important in our world today.  I hope you will join me in finding the "now" in your transitions, limbos, and non-peaceful times.  I could use the company because this is, I feel, a big part of this next journey, and I don't want to go it alone.
     One last parting word before I leave.  I have been thinking daily about the people in my life, and I want to thank so many people who have supported me in ways that have helped me get to this point.  The list is way to long to type out, and I would be terrified that I might leave someone out.  Just know that if I have cried on your shoulder, had long talks with you, asked you for advice, or if you have given freely to me your love, patience, acceptance, time, and support, it has not gone unnoticed. I have been surrounded by the most incredible people in the last couple of years, and I want to thank you so much.  I have never felt so loved by so many wonderful people as I have the last few years.

Namaste



3 comments:

  1. Your message of being at peace where ever you are is incredible and inspiring. I'm filled with happiness for your continuing journey, Toni.
    Much Metta

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, what a beautiful reflection and truth for the present moment! It is an honor to walk beside you in parts of your journey. I am so thankful for 'I'd when we cross paths. Many blessings and may you live each moment in Shalom! v2

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am awed by your wisdom, inspired by your courage and strength and so proud of you that I have "busted" six buttons off my shirts throughout your journey! I wish you all the blessings and joys possible during this next part of your life-journey, Toni, and my love goes with you wherever you are.

    ReplyDelete