Coming Home

    

    

     I knew when I drove into Escalante that I felt at home.  It was an overwhelming feeling, and I had not even gotten out of the car, yet.  I left today, and I still feel the same way.  I am in Flagstaff and about to head east, but it was hard to leave this morning.  I even had a tire blow out, the winds were against me the whole time, and I almost ran out of gas as I got close to Flagstaff.  The gods must have been trying to tell me something. 

     But what does 'coming home" really mean?  Why did I feel this way?  I am not entirely sure, but what I do know is that I felt completely comfortable the whole time I was there.  I felt at ease, healthy, capable of meeting people and having great conversations easily, and the land spoke to me at a deep level. 

     The last couple of days, I went on two lovely hikes that were very different from each other.  The first one was quite a popular hike called "Calf Creek Falls".  It meandered along a creek, sometimes low so that Teddy could have a break from the dry heat, and sometimes high above the water so that we sometimes forgot that water was even around.  But right before the end, I could hear the falls, and what a delight it was to come out on a lovely lagoon and gorgeous water fall.  I quickly cooled my feet in the icy cold water.   Definitely worth the six mile round trip ticket. 

     The funniest thing happened on the way back.  I saw a young teenage boy coming my way.  I said, "Koebe?", and he stepped back a little scared, and said, "yes?"  I had taught him piano for several years in McKinney until they moved to Salt Lake City.  His parents and friends soon caught up with us and we were beside ourselves with excitement and surprise. We had not seen each other in about three years.  What a small world it really is....

After the hike, I went to a nearby town to get some food and then drove up to the mountains to find an overlook.  I was going to take myself out to a restaurant, but when you have views like these, there is simply no point.  It doesn't matter what you eat.  It just tastes wonderful with good exercise and beautiful nature in front of you. 

That evening, I went to a community gathering of people who had been involved in the recent efforts to talk to Zinke and other federal officials from Washington about saving the monument from  destruction and border realignment.  I will tell you, these are some of the nicest people you will ever meet, and they are highly passionate and intelligent.  They simply want to have a voice in what happens to their "home".  Needless to say, the feds did not listen to what the people had to say, and instead, slipped out the back door (literally). They made that trip to Utah but  would not talk to anyone who really lived there to find out what they felt and thought.  What impressed me, however, was the smiles that the local people had at the gathering, the community spirit, and the don't stop attitude.  I wish them the very best, and if I find myself back there, I will be right next to them in their efforts. Washington simply doesn't care, so we, as citizens of this planet,  have to stand up for what is right. 

Calf Creek Falls

The next morning, Mother's Day, two people with whom I had spent some time visiting a few days earlier, were driving past my campsite and stopped to see if I wanted to hike with them.  They are both local artists, and are both very talented and interesting to be with.  I was absolutely delighted, so off we went on an off trails hike that I would never have  experienced on my own.  Reiser, a painter and sculptor, took the lead, and quietly led us up and around  a beautiful plateau and to the edge of Spencer Canyon while Brigitte, a potter and sculptor, and I visited about life, art, and music, interspersed with quiet contemplation.  Eventually, the three of us and Teddy stopped for a breather and a snack on a gorgeous overlook.  It was simply breathtaking, and what a joy it was to share this time with two lovely people whom I had just befriended a few days earlier!
     So..."coming home"...it could mean many things, but for right now, what it means is that I found a place in my soul where I felt comfortable being me, Toni.  I discovered some things about myself, such as my need for solitude, for deep contemplation and prayer, for nature, for strenuous use of my body that allows me to see the world around me, and for connections with interesting and passionate people.  Again, as I talked about in my previous entry, that healthy balance is crucial.  I leave this area with a much better sense of how I want to make decisions about my life as I go forward.  We have to be careful that we don't just "fall" into our lives.  Sometimes that cannot be helped, and we have to deal with what comes in the best way that we can, but there is also that part of ourselves, our intuitive selves, that can direct us to wonderful places and experiences in our lives.  I want to be able to "come home" to me wherever I am.  That is my new mantra. Not an easy one to live, but well worth the effort. 

Hike with Reiser and Brigitte