Unplanning the Future (dedicated to R.S.)

 

    "Metamorphisis" (my last sculpture - January 2017)


  I am going to preface this entry by saying that it has not been easy to write. I have tried three different times but for various reasons, it has been a struggle. I think part of the reason is due to the fact that I AM living an unplanned life, so my mind, body, and heart are having to adjust to new situations each and every day. My "flow" can be incredibly deep at times, but other times, like now, it is not there at all. During these times, I am simply working to be the best person that I can be in the situation. That is where I am right now, but I hope that my entry shares some kind of message, anyway
  According to Western logic, when one is transforming their life, they should be strategizing the next appropriate steps over the next few months and even years. You know... making a plan, dotting the I's and crossing the T's.
  Now that my traveling is over, everyone seems to want to know where I will "end up" .That is what I would have normally asked, as well, so this question doesn't bother me. It is just not a question I can answer anymore. You see, when you realize that life truly is an adventure and you are willing to accept what The Universe hands you, then there is not an "ending up" place. I am not done traveling, as a matter of fact. My Dad and I, just this evening, returned from Santa Fe, and in three days, he and I are driving my truck, loaded down with furniture, to my daughter and brother on the east coast. After that, another small trip to visit my cousin and his family, and after that... you see... life simply continues. It is not that I want to be on the road all of the time; it is just that life is on a wonderful continuum. I have not been on a "vacation", as I mentioned in a previous blog, but instead, I am just taking life as it comes and am truly excited about what is around each corner. In September, I am going to hunker down in my camper for awhile on someone's land in the San Pedro Mountains of New Mexico. I will use this time to practice, do my art, work on my personal growth, and let things unfold.
  Ever since I returned from Bali, opportunities have just opened themselves up to me on a daily basis, and I have been listening, and most importantly, saying YES. It has been astounding! With each new opportunity, I have had to be flexible and change my course to accommodate these opportunities, but each time, it has felt like it was the right step to take. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be living in a small camper in the middle of the mountains working on my music, art, and spiritual growth, but I said "yes", so I leave on September 17th. How long will I stay there? I have absolutely no idea. I'll know when I know. So many things have happened this way, and the ability to feel the "know" is getting easier now. I am not so afraid. Living in the middle of the mountains by myself makes me a little nervous, but as long as I stay in the present moment, I know it is the right move.
  Shortly after I returned to McKinney, I started "planning". I was going to create a strategy to learn new skills, develop a mission statement, and create marketing plans for "something" (not sure what that "something" was). Luckily, my anxiety and foreshadowing sense of failure saved me. I quickly realized that I was trying to create another career. I do not WANT a career anymore. I had a lovely one for 35 years! Making a career strategy is just what us westerners are taught to do and how many of us think. Now, I want to let life choose me, mold me, and tell me what I am to do next. Once I realized this, the pressure lifted off my shoulders and the anxiety went away.
  I recently felt a need to make art, music, and write words to try to make a small difference in alleviating the state of fear that our country is in right now. In my last blog, I wrote about the symbolism of the butterfly in terms of strength in numbers and how that has been a constant and recurring theme in the last couple of years in my own life. I did not choose this butterfly symbol, it chose me. I know very little about them, but they keep showing up. A few days after that entry, I read that illegal digging and prepping for the border wall started taking place at the National Butterfly Center in south Texas. This event shook me, and I felt I had to do something, so I decided to start making butterfly art each day with messages. This continued until I left for Santa Fe, and I will continue to create more each night from now on. I feel very strongly that the arts are the best way to bring about change, to create solidarity, to keep people hopeful, and to educate young and old alike, to be aware and take action.
  The Western World made a massive mistake in relegating the arts to the professionals. All people have the right to create whether they have ever had a lesson or not and whether they have "talent" or not. The arts are about communicating ideas and emotions, usually before words can even be spoken. Art of all disciplines comes from the soul. To create art is to put our souls on a platter and present it to the larger world. That doesn't take as much talent as it does courage. I believe everyone has the ability to express themselves creatively in some way.
  My passion right now is to create artistic opportunities that will provide a place for ALL people to send positive energy into this fearful world we are living and to give people a voice. The more we create together, the more we will realize our "oneness". In order to right the atrocities and negativity that are being perpetrated now, we must not be afraid. I will, with the help of my friend, Jude Simon, be sending out a link soon to share some of my ideas. Have I planned all of this out? I am afraid not. I am simply going to let it unfold and see what happens. It is magical when I watch it work. One of my best friends helped me realize the power of intention last year. I drew a dream board, and thought, "this will never happen". Well, it happened exactly as I drew it, and I am now going to let the dream board story develop even further. It has helped me to realize that anything is possible...for anybody. I am putting my passion first and know that something greater will take care of the rest.
  So, perhaps you, too, can stop planning so much, and start "unplanning" a little each day. Take the time to stop and listen. Let your heart lead a little in front of your head. I had to knock my own head out of the way with a baseball bat quite a lot the last couple of years. I hope you will not have to go to such drastic measures if you decide to "unplan".

Mariposa flies

Breaking down borders and walls

Beauty with no fear

Say NO to the wall!  Diversity is what makes America great!

Don't Let Fear Tear Us Apart

Keep Diversity Strong- Charlottesville, Virginia 2017

A Journey of Souls 1

A Journey of Souls 2

Just let the paint flow...

White Supremacy is Simply Unnatural

There is strength in friends

We fly and share our beauty

This makes us all one

Let's hold our hands together in love

It's Happening!